Are you done? With all the New Year wishes!!! Well, the build-up to the New Year is like nothing else. Everyone wants to know what everyone else is doing.
“What’s the plan dude? Going out somewhere or partying in a club?”
“Nah man, just a house party in a farm house near Lonavala”
Then a couple of days prior to the New Year’s eve, WhatsApp kicks off to a crescendo.
“Hey, let me the first one to wish you a Happy New Year well in time”.
You have the time so you send out a long personalized Thank you note. Add a few Emojis for good measure. If by chance you get some good images and quotes, you sit back to copy-paste it, change then name. Dear becomes a Hi or My dear depending on whom you are sending the message to. Type in your name and Send. Some 15 more people have now got the message that you were the first one to wish them. Many may be smiling at the other end. Yours was the 3rdmessage they received saying that you were the first one ..!!!
Then comes 31stDecember. The early birds send off the first salvo. You get up and see about 12 messages already lighting up your screen. You are late! You take off with your detailed thank you messages. The morning caffeine dos e ensure you don’t tire out till you are told by your better half that it is time to leave for office. With bye-byes and the promise to reach home early for the party your eyes are on the mobile screen. Response time matters man!!!
‘Thanks buddy and we wish you the same, blah blah blah…”
Time flies in office. Actually time flies when one is on Whatsap. But office work calls and when you see the mobile the next time, you have 27 messages. Ah drat!!! Not been able to keep up. The responses become short and sweet.
“Wishing you the same. Happy 2019”.
You walk into a meeting and by the time you come out Whatsap is overflowing. 2 missed calls and 43 messages. Not to forget the 7 SMSs you have received from the bank, MF adviser, BMC and of course the old uncle who lives next door. You scroll down and find the most important one with a Red face emoji
“Where are you?” ”Just leaving, walking to the car,” you lie.
A round of bye-byes and you start the most important 3 minutes of the day. The walk to the car. It is a boon. You learn prioritization in those 3 minutes.
Scroll, scroll, scroll –“Thank you”. Scroll scroll “Thank you”. Scroll again. No, this is too impersonal. You sit behind the wheel of your car and draft a nice personalized message.
“Dear… (blank, blank, blank). As 2018 comes to a close, may the New Year…blah blah blah. Happy New 2019. Regards. Me, wifey Kiddo1, kiddo2, Dad, Mom and everyone else”
Yeah, now it’s easy-peasy. Select all. Copy. Open next message. Paste. Change name. Fire away. Next one and the next one and the next one. One handed and only the left thumb at work. While you drive home. Glance up the windscreen, look down, Copy. Paste. Type name. Send.
“Aww sheeeet”.
What was the last name that got sent. Dratted autocorrect. Mehta has gone as Meta and Pradeep as Pradesh. Bhaiya has become Bhakta.
“Dear Bhakta. Wishing you and Changing (that was supposed to be Bhabhi) blah blah blah…..” “ Sheeeet”.
Swing the car to the side. Recall message. Delete. Delete. Hope they have not opened the message.
Ping!
“Oye Chhotu. What is the message you have deleted”.
That’s Bhaiya on the other end responding to all New Year messages.
No more messages. Will handle in the evening. Go home, change, take the family out. Boring party. 10.45 PM. Another hour to go. 4 drinks down. Whatsap to the rescue. 87 unread messages. Now need to tread carefully. Don’t open all the messages. The moment you do that the guys on the other side would know you have seen it – remember the 2 Blue tick marks. And God save you if you don’t respond.
“Yarr, new year message ka jawab bhi nahi deta”
What a life ???
There is a message from an unknown number ending with 9999. Leave it. And the message from the pretty girl from the office. Furtively, you look up. The wife is busy with her friends.
“Hey thanks for the truly lovely and warm wishes” you gush!!! “Look forward to a great year ahead together”….
Delete together.
“Love”….no, no, no delete delete delete delete.
Remember #metoo. Just a nice smiley.
Time is running out. 11.57. Too many messages. Can’t resist opening each of them. The message I sent to someone has already come back to me through someone else now… is it the boss.
The music blasts. Everyone is hugging. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Backslapping and more hugs.
You look at the screen. It IS your boss.
“Happy to you too. But what the hell is this…. Heppy Knew Yeer 2091”
Shheeeeeet!!!!!!!
As honest as honest can be !!!! 😄
ReplyDeleteSir... very cynical view of the celebration and rat race of whatsapp messaging. we often observe this in the group, each of the member vying to put their own, borrowed, forwarded messages. In the process, the crux of some of the valuable messages gets backseat and eventually gets ignored too. People are crazy all over in this whatsapp yuga..
ReplyDeleteawaiting another aatma manthana ( soul searching ) from your side Sir...
ReplyDelete