“ Another girl?” She heard the whispers of disappointment. Spoken with a sense of regret. These were about the first words she heard the moment she was born. What did that mean? She was a healthy child with her hands and feet intact and eyes and nose in the correct place. Her cousin, a boy was gloated upon. That guy could not talk to strangers while she was always happy and talking to others so easily. They could not understand her language was their problem not hers. She could understand them well.
The doctor who came to check her seemed to be the only person who could understand her. Very soon, it was all about feeding her, whether she was hungry or not. If she cried, they would start patting her to sleep or feed her. This was just ridiculous. She just wanted to be taken out of the room, see the world and what was happening out there. Her brain was like a sponge. She was picking up new things by the second. She could understand what everyone spoke. She was a genius in her own right. But she was confused since she had a different view of her future. As she connected more, her ideas of the world that she had to live in kept changing… It looked bleaker by the day.
Everyone around her, especially the elders spoke about Values & Ethics, Discipline, Truth, Social Grace and the works… the whole 22 yards (yeah, the length of a cricket pitch, she knew that!). But she realized that very few really ‘Walked the Talk’. She remembered the incidents so vividly.
One day, she was out with her parents at a traffic crossing and one man in a car was shouting at a young guy for over-speeding and riding without a helmet. “Nobody follows rules,”he said. Minutes later, she saw the same person in his car talking on his cellphone while driving. She wondered where the rules were at that time.
She realized that everyone, without exception was harshest, most ill behaved and loudest – with people who were closest to him or her. Her parents shouted at each other, so did her grandparents. Where was all that respect and love for each other that they professed to the young couples that visited them at home. Oh! One could see them going overboard when the neighbours or friends came over. Gushing with humour and respect and all. And the moment the guests left, they would start commenting about those people. Terrible, she felt.
There was always a talk about money not being everything – it was just a ‘Moh-Maya’they said. One should not chase wealth; it would come looking for you or some such bullshit. But she also saw that most of the arguments between her parents, between her father and grandfather were always based on money. Bitter words would get exchanged.
Visit to temples and rituals and God – his existence or not! (Why he, It could be a she isn’t it, if she did exist at all!!) were hot topics. Yes, the atmosphere would get charged up. Oh, the daily trip to the temple. All fervor, peace and everything! The stories of God, he is all seeing, all pervading. If he was all pervading then why go to a temple or church or mosque in search of him? Ok, continuing, they would all go to the temple and lo and behold! Gossip!! Who is getting married to whom, why somebody should get married to whom, the ‘Did you know about…’ kind of talks. Animated ones at that. One came for a bit of peace, she thought but she had seen often, someone with folded hands and eyes closed in loving devotion to the Almighty, jerking out of it with a shock, his left hand desperately pulling out the mobile shrilly in the peaceful and quiet confines of the temple. The very next moment the devotion would be for the person on the other side of the mobile with no concern or respect for anyone else’s peace or discomfiture. The right hand still in the same place with the left hand holding the mobile phone next to the left ear, face looking at the sky, loud voice and talking about the party being planned that night… inside a temple. She called it the ‘Half Namaste’. Sitting and watching the episodes from afar she realized everything seemed a farce!
Privacy was a term she just started hating. It was ubiquitous – in words only. People fought for privacy rights, data privacy online, tweeted why the government needed their Aadhar number, talked about ‘My Space’ even in the confines of a small 650 sq ft flat. However, their life was public. Instagram, Facebook, Twitter – any social media opportunity to showcase their lives to strangers. She remembered the incident where she overheard one of the teenagers at home did not want to discuss anything with her parents but they got to know about the same from her Facebook post. And about that time when one of her mother’s friends had posted a photo of herself on a beach with a comment “Am I cool or just blazing hot” with lots of heart shaped emoticons. And then she was complaining to her mother later how people were stalking her on social media and how it was invading her privacy? Seriously??? Everyone was public everywhere but everyone talked of privacy.
Complaining and whining seemed to be the bedrock of daily life. Funny, some would complain about the colour of the bed sheet they bought online and how it did not match what was seen on the website, the quality of construction of houses, how people have no civic sense, the pothole on the road, poor infrastructure, the government, global warming and on and on…Oh! They would not even stop berating the weather, the heat of the sun and even how the Universe was conspiring to bring them down. But they would not segregate garbage at home, have 6 air conditioners on all day while they were at work, have 3 cars between the two of them and continue to talk about pollution and environment safety. They would talk about water shortage while keeping taps open while brushing teeth or looking the other way as the water tanks overflowed. They would try avoiding paying taxes and then wonder loudly why streetlights were not working. Oh man! Life itself seemed a big farcical game!!! She felt totally disillusioned!
It was yet another hot day. In the small flat, the old ceiling fan was spinning softly ruffling her hair. She loved it. This is the world she had come into and would have to go through in the way it is. The warm burly hands of her father started gently patting her.
The petite little schoolgirl looked into the loving eyes of her father, gave him her brightest smile and closed her eyes to sleep.
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