The Unruly Mind

It all starts with the word liminal. I had never encountered this word before, so the first thing I did was look it up. Where did I stumble upon it? While reflecting on how the mind works, why it behaves a certain way, and how I’ve changed over the years, this word appeared.

Derived from the Latin word limen, meaning “threshold,” liminal describes a state of transition—a space of being on the verge of something new but not fully there yet. It’s often used to describe in-between spaces like doorways, corridors, or staircases. Think about places like airports, train stations, or waiting rooms. Psychologically, liminality refers to a mental or emotional state between what was and what will be.

Have I experienced this? Absolutely. Retiring from the Army and transitioning to civilian life was a profound threshold moment for me. And four years ago, I entered yet another phase—not fully retired, but feeling like every day was a Sunday. These transitions brought a mix of uncertainty and openness to transformation.

Why Does the Mind Spin Stories?

One thought led to another, and soon, my mind was spinning its own stories. The deeper the questions I asked myself, the more exhilarating—and confusing—the journey became.

Why does the mind take us on such a ride? The answer is both simple and complex. At its core, the mind is a problem-solving tool—always seeking to provide answers, even when none are needed. However, some questions aren’t meant to be answered by the mind. Take, for instance, the eternal question: Who am I?

Am I just a name, a form, or a relationship? This reminded me of Adi Shankaracharya’s process of Neti Neti (Not This, Not That), which strips away every layer of self-identity. This isn’t a question for the mind to solve—it’s a journey to dissolve the need for an answer altogether. To reach this space, we must quiet the mind’s noise and create room for something deeper to emerge. So how do we go about quietening the mind?

Meditate with Nature

Nature has an incredible way of loosening the mind’s grip. Sitting in silence in a garden, on a sea beach at night, by a flowing stream, or under a vast sky allows the mind to pause. These moments of stillness help us expand our sense of self and connect with the natural world.

Use the Body as an Anchor

While the mind pulls us into the past or future, the body is always present. Dwelling on an unchangeable past or an uncertain future feeds the mind’s chatter. Grounding yourself in the body can quiet that noise.

I’ve learned that focusing on your breath—its natural rhythm—anchors you to the present moment. Notice the sensations in your hands, feet, or heart. This practice gently pulls the mind away from endless chatter and back to the body. Each time the mind begins to intellectualize, return to these sensations. It’s a simple yet powerful way to find peace.

Journaling Without Analysis

When my thoughts feel overwhelming, I write them down. The act of putting them on paper, without analyzing them in the moment, creates a release. Later, when I revisit these thoughts, I find space opening up within me. This process fosters creativity, self-acceptance, and, most importantly, peace.

Approach Self-Inquiry with Curiosity

Human sorrows often stem from unfulfilled expectations: “My child should get good marks,” or “I wish my spouse would plan a vacation without my asking.” Expectations bind us to disappointment. An old adage captures this perfectly: Disappointments come to those who make appointments with the future.

Instead of seeking answers to every question, approach self-inquiry with curiosity. Turn questions into open-ended explorations without expecting immediate solutions. For instance, instead of asking, “Why does this happen to me?” reframe it as, “This happens.” Observe what unfolds. By simplifying questions, the mind has nothing to solve, and it rests. This is when you can truly enjoy just being.

Letting the Question Be

Sometimes, the best way to address a question is to let it go. The mind thrives on entangling you in its web of questions, dragging you into a whirlpool of overthinking. Before this happens, remind yourself: I don’t need to figure this out right now. The answer will come when it’s ready.

This practice works like magic—even in small ways. Consider solving a Wordle puzzle. When stuck, stepping away and returning later often brings the answer effortlessly. Similarly, sitting with deeper, unanswered questions can feel transformative without needing resolution.

Closing Thoughts

I’m no therapist or yoga teacher—this is simply my personal perspective. Over the years, I’ve heard countless friends and acquaintances struggle with the unruly nature of the mind. This write-up is not meant to offer solutions but to share what has helped me.

This journey isn’t about reaching a destination. It’s about being present with what arises—without judgment or urgency. When the mind takes you for a ride, smile at it gently, like watching a child at play, and return to stillness.

The mind isn’t your enemy; it’s simply doing its job. But you—the awareness behind the mind—are far greater than its chatter.