Small nips, eyes closed, savouring the burst of taste in our tongue. And as we hold the last piece of the bread between our thumb, index and middle fingers, there is a sense of sadness - 'Oh, it is getting over", sense of guilt - "Did we gulp it all down too fast?" and at times Desire - "Wish we could have some more". But the stomach is full and it is time for other activities of life.
My son Vidit's 30th birthday today brought in a flood of memories. I had picked up his baby book and saw for the umpteenth time, the slightly tattered note stuck in the baby book - the first mention that we had been blessed with a son. Written in one of those loose and rough papers available on every Army officers table, by the officer who had received the call from my father in law. The words - precise, crisp, abbreviated - but carrying the full details. I remember sitting inside a radar vehicle explaining some technicalities to another course mate and just when I had finished the point another officer calls out from the cupola of the vehicle, "Congrats Sir." I said "Oh that's fine" thinking he was complimenting me on understanding the subject so well :-) and took the slip of paper from him. The rush of emotions which overtook me at that moment cannot be explained in words.
Today, as I read the note again, my mind went into a superfast rewind. I could remember faint but vivid memories of my sitting on the front horizontal bar of the bicycle while my father took me to school, the fun of playing cricket with my friends, the first day at the Military Academy, hazy stuff I did in the Army, my parents visiting us in various locations that I was posted in, the successes and failures, the day I wore the uniform for the last time, life in the civvy street in the corporate, the pandemic, my first trip to Switzerland and ....back today. How time has flown???
Two totally disconnected events - the story of the toasted bread and my son's 30th birthday brought me to this point.
Is our life like Crisp Toasted Bread? Yes it is!!!
The moment we start living, we want to go through life in a hurry. As parents we want to see the squally bundle of joy on its back to turn and start crawling. Before we can enjoy it fully, we hope the baby stands and starts walking - and then running, going to school, college, get a job and earn and get married and typically to see that our child is caught in this life storm.
We munch at our first slices of tasty bread very fast. Probably enjoy some but go through it so fast. Suddenly we see ourselves at a particular stage of life, approaching the crest of the hill or like me over the hill, probably on the last lap of the race called life and wonder - "Where did all this time go? Did we enjoy the good times? Do we feel guilty of the lovely stuff we missed?"
And then the realisation dawns on us. We are on the last slice of the crisply toasted and buttered bread and we then start enjoying every bite. We slow down and meditate. We take nature walks and enjoy with hushed gratitude the wind whispering through the leaves of trees, the early morning chirping of the birds, the glory of sunset which was there everyday of one's life but we never took time to enjoy. We enjoy the tottering steps of other's children, we compliment a child for skating or singing so well. We meet old friends over a drink and exchange stories and hope the night never ends. We look back in gratitude at what life has given us so far.
Yes, we are on the last slice of our toast of our life. Chew on it, close your eyes and relish it. Enjoy every moment.
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